Did you also list out things you’re looking for in a relationship? How exciting."
I think being communicative and direct (mostly direct) can go either way, depending on how you do it. If you're a normal, conventional, polite guy saying normal, conventional, polite things, then this is probably going to backfire. If you're an unconventional guy saying unconventional things that are not necessarily "polite", being direct can actually work in your favor. Sometimes honesty is boring...but NOT if you're saying the kinds of things that most people wouldn't dare to say out loud! One reason this works is because it tells the woman that you're not afraid of her and you're not trying to "make" her like you.
I've had success with this kind of honesty and directness in the past. I believe relationships work best when a man dominates a woman and makes her FEEL dominated. (No, domination is not a synonym for "abuse", and I'm also not talking about BDSM. I believe there are good and bad kinds of domination.) When I talk like a man who believes these things, it creates polarity between masculine and feminine, and it makes her feel like a woman. This is something most women are starved for, because they're used to men who act like their female friends and are polite and "good" and trying not to offend them. Modern society has gotten the idea that treating women with "respect" means treating them as completely non-sexual, genderless beings, and it's very counterproductive in dating.
While working at one restaurant, some years ago, it was pointed out I spoke differently to most women. It wasn't intentional, I wasn't trying to get with any of them, but it generated a lot of attention, and it's a lot of this shit. I'm just playful, 'tis all. I love their smiles. Laughter, blushing, these can make my day. I know how some enjoy the "roller coaster ride"... Today, I go out of my way to avoid it... in most cases. They need to be unavailable, or it won't work out.
I mean, this could be how I rationalize because I'm poor, and I have nothing else to give BUT myself. With money, I could potentially balance things out a little. Most of the women I'm into have their own money though anyway, so Idk. I table the entire conquest for now. Thank you for sharing the article, anyway. I was quite curious what you'd be saying.
Yeah, I just don't date. A harem would suit me fine, but the headache of splitting my attention isn't worth it. I don't have the steel to allow any feel less special than the others. And for having a wide range of interests, I'd still gravitate towards certain types more.
Best flirt who performed well out of his league was Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation.” Truly a master class and able to effortlessly show how much capacity for fun he could offer Scarlett Johansson.
Excellent insight into a VERY important aspect of male/female relationships. "Don't take yourself so seriously" is an extremely hard lesson to learn for most people. It pairs up perfectly and synergistically with a cultivated sense of relaxed self-assurance and confidence that is unsullied by "Should-be, would-be, could-be and might-be" conditional qualifiers. Our mutual acquaintance 'Day' is a good example of this to observe and analyse, although I have some doubts as to his true inner motivations. Aloha nui loa, K2
Ah! This is a question most complex in all its challenging nuances (as the True Sage would not put it). If Day is presumed to be the super-hot studly paragon of all that is appealing and desirable to XX people (that he portrays himself to be and wants XY people to think), it may be boiled down to several possibilities , 1) that he is a notable exception to the male norm of social self-doubt and image anxiety (in the same manner that free-climber Alex Honnold is, in his seemingly 'impossible' feats on shear rock walls), or 2) that he is merely a cleverly canny marketeer trying to coerce others into providing his daily wherewithal ($$$) with a display of massive masculine effrontery ("This too, can be urine!"). If he, on the other hand, is simply a super-hard-charging individual with youthfully excessive hormonal surges of mortal immortality, feeling his oats and marketing himself as a consumable product ($$$), he is susceptible to being dismissed as another social media wannabe-superman.
Very, very few men I have known at that age (and as wholly immersed in a surfing lifestyle as Day suggests he is) actually have the enormous reserves of cocky self-assurance that he (seems to) exude from his pores. Many of them didn't survive the challenging waves (either real or figurative) they attempted. A precious few did and are now Hawai'ian legends for being able to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. (I am NOT among them, of course, being quite familiar with my own limitations).
The wonderful thing about internet presences (as Sol Luckman on SubStack regularly reminds us), is that the sky's the limit in terms of exploiting fantasy and realism, as far as social media presence goes. In an "...in the flesh, right there on a wave next to you" situation, and spotting an ominous Mano Akua's razor-like fin slicing the water not far away, it's quite often a while different story. Many are the pretenders who have been utterly demolished in the real-world scenario of what we call 'soul-surfing'. A degree of humility and self-effacement, after all (in addition to relaxed, unpretentious self-assurance), usually comes only with age and experience (maturity). Until that state of experiential relativity is achieved, all bets are off the table.
I always look to amazing Hawai'ian waterwoman Rorella Polioka'ehukai Sunn ('Rell Sunn') as one of the most inspiring, GENUINE people that ever existed in modern times. She had all those qualities in spades and yet was the most modest and non-self-promoting individual I've ever been privileged to discover in my own lifetime. She was truly an example for all of us, male or female, to live up to, before her untimely death at the peak of her many-faceted life, from breast cancer in 1998. Aloha, K2 [ https://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewarticle.asp?id=36156 ]
I’m just going to be myself. If they don’t like it then it’s easier to check them off my list.
“'communicative, direct'
Snooze-fest.
Did you also list out things you’re looking for in a relationship? How exciting."
I think being communicative and direct (mostly direct) can go either way, depending on how you do it. If you're a normal, conventional, polite guy saying normal, conventional, polite things, then this is probably going to backfire. If you're an unconventional guy saying unconventional things that are not necessarily "polite", being direct can actually work in your favor. Sometimes honesty is boring...but NOT if you're saying the kinds of things that most people wouldn't dare to say out loud! One reason this works is because it tells the woman that you're not afraid of her and you're not trying to "make" her like you.
I've had success with this kind of honesty and directness in the past. I believe relationships work best when a man dominates a woman and makes her FEEL dominated. (No, domination is not a synonym for "abuse", and I'm also not talking about BDSM. I believe there are good and bad kinds of domination.) When I talk like a man who believes these things, it creates polarity between masculine and feminine, and it makes her feel like a woman. This is something most women are starved for, because they're used to men who act like their female friends and are polite and "good" and trying not to offend them. Modern society has gotten the idea that treating women with "respect" means treating them as completely non-sexual, genderless beings, and it's very counterproductive in dating.
Well said
While working at one restaurant, some years ago, it was pointed out I spoke differently to most women. It wasn't intentional, I wasn't trying to get with any of them, but it generated a lot of attention, and it's a lot of this shit. I'm just playful, 'tis all. I love their smiles. Laughter, blushing, these can make my day. I know how some enjoy the "roller coaster ride"... Today, I go out of my way to avoid it... in most cases. They need to be unavailable, or it won't work out.
Yeah, it can come across differently depending on the audience.
Final note: It was a male coworker who pointed it out. I only went as far as every individual ‘relationship’ evolved. No woman ever complained.
I mean, this could be how I rationalize because I'm poor, and I have nothing else to give BUT myself. With money, I could potentially balance things out a little. Most of the women I'm into have their own money though anyway, so Idk. I table the entire conquest for now. Thank you for sharing the article, anyway. I was quite curious what you'd be saying.
Yeah, I just don't date. A harem would suit me fine, but the headache of splitting my attention isn't worth it. I don't have the steel to allow any feel less special than the others. And for having a wide range of interests, I'd still gravitate towards certain types more.
Best flirt who performed well out of his league was Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation.” Truly a master class and able to effortlessly show how much capacity for fun he could offer Scarlett Johansson.
Ooo I need to watch this
Definitely, it’s a must watch. Favorite film of my college years. After, you could check out my note on it but not before because it has spoilers.
Excellent insight into a VERY important aspect of male/female relationships. "Don't take yourself so seriously" is an extremely hard lesson to learn for most people. It pairs up perfectly and synergistically with a cultivated sense of relaxed self-assurance and confidence that is unsullied by "Should-be, would-be, could-be and might-be" conditional qualifiers. Our mutual acquaintance 'Day' is a good example of this to observe and analyse, although I have some doubts as to his true inner motivations. Aloha nui loa, K2
What do you think his true inner motivation is?
Ah! This is a question most complex in all its challenging nuances (as the True Sage would not put it). If Day is presumed to be the super-hot studly paragon of all that is appealing and desirable to XX people (that he portrays himself to be and wants XY people to think), it may be boiled down to several possibilities , 1) that he is a notable exception to the male norm of social self-doubt and image anxiety (in the same manner that free-climber Alex Honnold is, in his seemingly 'impossible' feats on shear rock walls), or 2) that he is merely a cleverly canny marketeer trying to coerce others into providing his daily wherewithal ($$$) with a display of massive masculine effrontery ("This too, can be urine!"). If he, on the other hand, is simply a super-hard-charging individual with youthfully excessive hormonal surges of mortal immortality, feeling his oats and marketing himself as a consumable product ($$$), he is susceptible to being dismissed as another social media wannabe-superman.
Very, very few men I have known at that age (and as wholly immersed in a surfing lifestyle as Day suggests he is) actually have the enormous reserves of cocky self-assurance that he (seems to) exude from his pores. Many of them didn't survive the challenging waves (either real or figurative) they attempted. A precious few did and are now Hawai'ian legends for being able to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. (I am NOT among them, of course, being quite familiar with my own limitations).
The wonderful thing about internet presences (as Sol Luckman on SubStack regularly reminds us), is that the sky's the limit in terms of exploiting fantasy and realism, as far as social media presence goes. In an "...in the flesh, right there on a wave next to you" situation, and spotting an ominous Mano Akua's razor-like fin slicing the water not far away, it's quite often a while different story. Many are the pretenders who have been utterly demolished in the real-world scenario of what we call 'soul-surfing'. A degree of humility and self-effacement, after all (in addition to relaxed, unpretentious self-assurance), usually comes only with age and experience (maturity). Until that state of experiential relativity is achieved, all bets are off the table.
I always look to amazing Hawai'ian waterwoman Rorella Polioka'ehukai Sunn ('Rell Sunn') as one of the most inspiring, GENUINE people that ever existed in modern times. She had all those qualities in spades and yet was the most modest and non-self-promoting individual I've ever been privileged to discover in my own lifetime. She was truly an example for all of us, male or female, to live up to, before her untimely death at the peak of her many-faceted life, from breast cancer in 1998. Aloha, K2 [ https://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewarticle.asp?id=36156 ]
The internet provides possibilities for sure.
I hate the idea of putting up a front. Mind you I am not that experienced.
It takes awhile to get over that hurdle, but glorious once you do.
Two or three decades ago workplace was a place where men could polish their fritring skills. Sadly not anymore, thanks to #meetoo and rabid feminism.
Tragic isn’t it
Thanks, I’ve mastered the art of boring, awkward conversations. I wish I could have fun in conversations like you describe.
Attraction may start with curiosity, humor, and a little mystery, but a real connection is built on sincerity, respect, and time.